1. WordPress and CSS are effed up and I refuse to give up sheSaid’s design and heSaid and sheSaid have other projects, ones that pay them better than I do (as in, you know, at all) plus a babySaid, plus sheSaid is getting a new site of her own for her fan-frigging-tastic self-portraits and . . .
2. It would have been up months ago, except I procrastinated about something I was supposed to do, and then their projects took precedence. Is my own doing.
So, why not just start blogging now, that way I’d be writing regularly and building an audience?
Because that’s like walking into prom in jeans and a tee-shirt, saying “hi” to all your friends and your crush with his slutty date, then going and putting on your dress and your sparkle make-up, coming back, and realizing that they totally already played the Macarena and now everybody is just humping and you’re all alone.
Also, because I’m working on some fiction stuff. And by “working” I mean, writing three paragraphs, becoming overwhelmed with the things that I do not know and wondering if my idea is trite and cliche, then wind up lying flat on my back, staring at the ceiling, and making lists in my heads of all the things I might like to be besides a writer, and wondering if 9-5 in a cubicle isn’t as bad as I think it is. Then I go to work the next day, determine that yes, yes it is just that bad, become UTTERLY DETERMINED to write something decent, go home, repeat. Or watch a DVD.
Basically, I need to grow up a bit before I can write any fiction, as I’m currently pretty self-absorbed. Which makes a personal blog perfect for me, except, as I said, I’d much rather wait to “launch” it when it’s properly set up, so I can have a better way of tracking viewers, feel comfortable linking and commenting, etc. Am reasonably certain that nobody is reading this now, which is good, because I have absolutely no idea when it will be ready to go. A final upside to the long, long delay in the blog launch is that I’ve had a longer time to conceptualize how I want the blog to be, which topics I want to cover, and how to limit talking about stuff that bites me in the ass later. A couple of years ago, I ran a blog where all I did was talk about my love life. As is prone to happening when a woman admits interest in sex while allowing for anonymous comments, people called me a slut. I hadn’t even ever had sex. It was predictable, and I didn’t take it to heart too much, but I don’t necessarily want to go there again. Public sexual discovery? Blargh, I’m not a pop star.
